My Walk To Work

Every day I walk to and from work. I usually take a similar route and I get up early so I can make a stop at they gym. Now - I have to be honest and say that San Francisco is truly filled with some of the craziest motherfuckers you'll ever meet. Sorry Aunt Deb - but sometimes the only way to really paint a mental picture of something is to pepper in some profanity. That aside they are a lot of wackos out here. I don't see a ton of homelessness except on my walk to work. They're all still sleeping all along the sidewalk and I literally have to step over them. I really need to take up biking and I'm working on it...I'll keep you posted.


I'm sorry I have to stop for just a moment and I have to put this in here, it ties into the profanity statement. I listen to music while, well, I listen while I do everything but I'm listening (again - sorry to you I keep mentioning them to) to this band I can't get enough of and they are a bit vulgar and profane and this song is kind of kitschy but I dig the beat...So 3OH!3...don't trust me.

Back to the story at hand. There are just a lot of crazy homeless people here. And I don't use the term crazy lightly - I think on the certifiable scale the crazy people you'll encounter here get their own scale. They have to go above and beyond to be abnormal. For example I was walking to work one day and when I approached an intersection that was near the city center there was a woman standing on the corner in a cat suit. It was a tiggeresque patterned dress and she was wearing matching ears. Parked next to her was a stroller atop of which were two sleeping cats - at least I hope they were sleeping my other theory is that they were dead or drugged. As people would pass by she would hold out a cup and meow. I wish I was joking but I'm not. My point is the effort this took. Either she was obsessing about this for quite some time or she woke up one day and said "I want to beg for money but I need a gimmick - I know I'm going to spend the day as a cat." And then she had to go to the craft store and get tiger patterned materials for her custom dress. She had to find a drug dealer to give her sedatives for her cats.
The story doesn't end there though. A couple of weeks later I was coming home from a day at the beach and this same woman was walking down my street dressed in a Christmas themed outfit. I saw her walking towards me and as I frantically fumbled for my keys and with the locks she approached (as I knew she would)and started to tell me about "And the pigs are eating the chickens and the chickens eat the rats and Jesus will save them all..." And all I could do was avoid eye contact while telling her "Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone..." That was a close call I was one second away from being recruited into her crazy holiday themed lifestyle. She took my two favorite holidays so I'd be stuck dressing up as a bunny and carrying around dead rabbits. I'll let you know how that goes.