Public Storage Revisited

You would think one Public Storage story would be enough but this one is slightly amusing.

When I first went to the Public Storage when I got here over a month ago I was a little shocked and slightly concerned about the staff? There was just something a little off with all of them. But I didn't give it too much thought until I was just back this most recent time. I shouldn't say too much about it since all of my highly valuable (i.e. bowling pin and oven mitts) is still stored there. I will let the story speak for itself.

I went back to my storage to pay my monthly rent and to pick up a muffin pan; I was going to bake.

To get into PS I would liken it to getting into the Area 51 or CIA at Langley all technical and secure... You get a code which you use to get in the gate to the entrance and once you're in the building to use the elevator you need the code again to get to any floor from any floor and vice versa. Its not rocket science its just cumbersome especially if you punch in a wrong number in the antiquated system that's had its buttons pushed one too many times.

I get in the elevator, punch in my code am let off on my floor retrieve my things and return to leave. On the way down to the main floor I punch in the code again but when I get to the 1st floor the door does not open. I thought "huh, punched in the code wrong." So I punched the code in again and hit the button for it to take me to the floor I was just at and it does but the door does not open. I thought, "maybe I've confused the elevators highly intelligent system." I hit the button to go down and it does but the doors do not open. I realize I'm stuck and I don't know why so I press the button that says "Call Manager."

Promptly a person responds "Yes, can I help you?" and I think No, no you may not I pressed this button because I found it boring to travel 3 floors and wanted a chat. Instead I respond "Um, yes, I think I'm stuck. The elevator doors won't open."

"OK, I'll be right there."

And so I waited...

I hear all of this ruckus outside the door and then a *knock* *knock*
Knocking?? Seriously?

"Yes, I'm busy in here do you think you could come back later? I'm having friends over for dinner and they'll be here any minute and I've not yet dusted the emergency phone! "

I knock back and as a response I get a knock and a "Are you still in there?"

I'm silent before I answer "No, I'm gone this is my answering service."

I mean, where is the sense in any of this. I wish I were exaggerating but I am not.

I'm then asked "Have you tried pressing the button?"
I can barely gag up an answer "Really? This is my first time in an elevator. I was born 4 centuries ago and am just now visiting the modern era. That's what these buttons are for? You're supposed to press them? And here I'm thinking they are decoration. Well, hell, how about I try that now."

I press all the buttons loudly "Wow, they don't seem to work."

I get back a series of loud noises and "Hey I'm prying on the door are you pressing the button?"

"Am I supposed to?"
"Yes you press the button while I pry and then you push."

I'm shaking my head thinking I should take this service out of my rent. I'm pushing while this guy is prying and my toe is on the button cause there's no other way to do it. I'm crane my head to look at the security camera and think the surveillance tape from the elevator is going to wind up on redtube...wondering if I should ham it up and stick out my tongue, but before I can give it more thought the door starts to open. When it's open a crack he says "OK, put your arm in with me and pull it open."

"No way. No way am I putting my arm in there. It'll get stuck and I'll have to cut it off. I've read between a rock and a hard place." (this is so redtube material, right?).

He puts both his arms in and opens the door. As I emerge he asks "Wow. Were you in there long?"
I don't know what to say to this so I don't say anything at all. I just walk away with my muffin pan and a new found fear for society and public storage elevators.